Max von Boeventer

My practice

My therapy practice is now at the Gasworks Studio in St. Werburgh’s, Bristol. It is a large friendly space which suited for seeing clients in the days of Covid when it was an advantage to be able to sit as far apart as seemed necessary.

We speak therefore I am.

Clients come to me because they want change. Clients have usually tried many strategies at home before one of them plucks up the courage to make an appointment – it takes courage to tell your woes to an outsider. I admire anyone who wants to initiate change when changing is hard. In the therapy room change happens by doing a different kind of talking. Therapy happens in the here and now, mainly by me asking questions and clients saying things out loud. The questions I ask are designed to make my clients think in ways they haven’t done before.

It is important to say things out loud. Many times, not just thinking a thought, but saying it out loud, can take some weight off shoulders, or remove a blockage – especially if the thought has been embarrassing, shameful, or challenging. After that, different thinking, and then action, can follow. Many clients have agreed that saying-it-out-loud in the safe space I provide has made a huge difference. And then my job is to make sure that what has been said out loud can be heard and appreciated by the other person or the rest of the family.

In that way I have been able to successfully work with families, couples, and individuals, with many issues that would come up in such work: dissatifaction in a relationship, family secrets, an affair, low self-esteem, bereavement, boredom, stuckness, and other issues that are dealt with in a therapy room.

My clients tell me they have not been judged, even though they might have had difficult things to say. Sometimes they have had the courage to say things for the first time. Many have told me there have been ‘Eureka!’ moments, where something has suddenly made sense in a way it didn’t before.

We use the first meeting – which I would call the ‘Checking–out’ session – to find out whether we can work together. You need to be confident that working with me is likely to be useful, and that we can successfully engage in a therapeutic relationship. At that first meeting clients, be it individuals, couples, or families, will fill out a questionnaire with me so that we know what the starting point is. At the end of that first meeting I will ask you whether you’d like to come back for another session, and if the answer is yes, we find a day of the week and a time to suit us both, which will then be your slot for as long as you require it. I shall be there for you as long as talking is useful and takes you further along the road. My minimum requirement of myself is that in every meeting ‘something interesting or useful’ happens for you!

I look forward to meeting you.

My training

In 1995 I went through the Relate counsellor selection process and was offered to be trained by them. Previous to that I had done a Basic Counselling Skills course at Trowbridge College as well as a Different Aspects of Counselling course. After two years of Relate Training I was awarded the Certificate in Marital and Couple Counselling – Theory and Practice.

In 2006/07 I attained the Certificate of Systemic Practice Year 1 at Foundation Level in Family Therapy at Herbert Gray College, Rugby, the training centre of Relate.

In 2007/08 I attained the Postgraduate Diploma in Relationship Therapy – Systemic Pathway, which is the Intermediate Course in Family Therapy facilitated by John Woolner and accredited by the University of Hull.

Language shapes consciousness, and from consciousness, our world is shaped.

In 2009, with the encouragement of Mark Rivett of Bristol University I sought a placement at Melksham CAMHS with Sally Little and Jacqui Sayers. This gave me an insight into classic family therapy, being part of a reflecting team, and using a one-way mirror with our client families. I was part of the CAMHS family therapy team for four-and-a-half years.

In 2014 I completed my Masters Degree in Systemic Psychotherapy at the Family Institute, part of the University of Glamorgan, with Billy Hardy, Mary Morris, Jeff Faris, and Kieran Vivian-Byrne. At Glamorgan I was trained to ask better questions: questions that make my clients think, questions that encourage my clients to look at their situation from a different perspective, and using reflexive questions.

Attending Continuous Professional Development courses has always been an important part of my practice.

I have been at several Relate Conferences and AFT (Association for Family Therapy) Conferences, and have made a point of wanting to meet as many of the outstanding figures in the family therapy world as possible. Among them are Rudi Dallos, Ros Draper, Arlene Vetere, John Burnham, Mark Rivett, John Woolner, Janine Roberts, Peter Rober, Glyn Hudson-Allez, John Shotter, Jim Wilson, Carmel Flaskas, Brian Cade, Paolo Bertrando, Sheila McNamee, Ged Smith, Janet Reibstein, Hannah Sherbersky, Tanya Byron, Peter Jakob, Karl Tomm, and Michele Scheinkman.